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 Man's Guide to Woman's EnglishHumor the man's guide to woman's English. This is a joke about a man's guide to a woman's English Mans guide to a woman's English We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
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